Was MLK the last person to have a dream? probably not.

I got a phone call friday afternoon.

"Marjie, do you want to have a girls night?"

It was my 5 year old niece, with that sweet, innocent, high pitched voice asking me to come spend time with her. "Or just babysit me?" she continued.

I had plans for this weekend, but what are you gonna say to that?

"I'd LOVE to have a girls night. Or babysit you!" I told her.

"Well which one?" she asked.

"Do you wanna have a girls night? Or babysit me"

"Um, either one!"

"Girls night? Or babysit me?"

"Well, whichever one you want to do."

"Okay let's have a girls night and watch It Takes Two. I'll see you tonight, love you, bye."

Now that's how you make a sale. Hang up before they have time to negotiate. SO change of plans for me!

I hit the books to finish up some online quizzes, knowing back home I'd be limited on my internet access. Then I packed up the truck and headed west.

The next day (Saturday) it was so beautiful outside I couldn't resist walking through town. To my surprise the walk from my sisters house, on the edge of town, to the center of town took me less time than it takes me to walk to class every day.

It was surprising to me, for some reason. But walking through town still gave me that same joy I get walking through the city.

I also went and visited my house, where I grew up, where my parents still live. To my surprise, it was empty. No people. No more horses in the field. No more cats or dogs. No more family.

It was so empty, but it still smelt like home.

I swung on the front porch swing just looking out to the fields and thinking.

What my life used to be like, what my life is like now, what I want my life to be like in the future..

And now I think I'm even more confused than ever.

People have a lot of different ideas on what life is supposed to be about.

Life is about having fun.

Life is about doing what you want to do.

Life is about working.

You only have one shot, do what makes you happy.

You only have one shot, chase your dreams.

Well!

...which is it??

The only thing I know for certain is that you only have the one shot. After that, it's a little unclear.

I think it comes down to how you define success.

I've defined success as being the best you you can be.

When I pictured the best me, I pictured a good job, a good degree, good grades...

But now I'm starting to think,

what if the best me is a happy me?

When I picture a happy me, I picture people who love me, big animals, big engines, and big outdoors.

Am I supposed to be happy? Or am I supposed to be my best?

Am I my best when I'm happy?

Am I supposed to work my life away and keep the people I love in my heart? Find happiness in good jobs, good grades and a good degree?

Or am I supposed to stay in a small town with a small job? Find happiness in love, and things I enjoy?

Is my dream to be independent - to move around a lot, to meet tons of new people, learning and growing my whole life?

Or is my dream to find a man and settle down in the country and have a family - maybe a few horses, a boat, a four-wheeler and some land to ride on?

These are questions that need to be answered.

These are things I should know.

This is why I left town, to try and figure it out for myself. But I've been gone for two years and I just now formulated the questions.

Maybe another two years and I'll have the answers.

FYI: I don't know what I'm doing.

Sometimes I get ahead of myself, and I do things without thinking.

Okay.. A lot of times.

This happens way more frequently than it should, actually.

Like sometimes I pour my cereal in the bowl, and then realize that I never buy milk.

Why I even have cereal in the cabinet is a mystery to me.

And sometimes I start driving to a friends house before I even ask them if they're home.

And the other day, I sold my books online before I even had the slightest idea as to what I was getting in to.

I always forget to sell my course books back to the university bookstore. So I decided it was time to try to sell them online.

I know nothing about selling things online. But I figured with the semester already started, the chance of these books selling soon, if ever, is not high.

I figured I would have weeks, maybe even months until I had to call my dad and figure out what I was doing. You know: how I get the money, how I package the books, how I ship them off.. I was clueless to it all.

So I got the books up and went to bed. I woke up the next morning and was just lounging around when I decided to check my e-mail; I had like six e-mails telling me that my books sold; within minutes of me listing them!

I froze. Okay, what's my next step?

And then I saw the special notice, that these books must be sent out within two days of them being sold.

Okay, where do you go to ship things?

FedEx!

So in the rain I'm driving around the city in my giant truck, trying to park, and lugging these heavy books into the FedEx store.

I told the man, "I'm sorry, I have no clue what I'm doing but I need to ship these books." So he gave me some slips, packaged them up, and weighed them. A process that took about 20 minutes.

When we were finally done he told me the price. 96 dollars.

"96 dollars!!??"

to ship, books?

"Are you joking?" I asked him. He said no. But he really seemed like the kind of guy who would play around. I thought he was about to start laughing and tell me the real price. So I asked again to make sure, "Are you serious?" "Yes. $96.00"

I could feel my face turning red as everyone in the store turned to look at me. "No." I said firmly, shaking my head. "No. I'm sorry, I can't mail these. How in the world can this cost $96.00 to mail; these people are only paying me $3.00 for shipping!"

"Well good luck finding somewhere to ship these for much less." he said as he shoved the books into my arms.

I ran out, in the rain, and just drove. No clue where to go. I called my Dad and he told me the post office would send them.

Duh

I don't know why I went to FedEx. I just figured the post office wouldn't be as helpful. Did I mention I didn't know what I was doing?

When I got to the post office, they were just as helpful and like a sixteenth of the price.

But the lady did look at me like I was stupid trying to mail these things packaged in Fed Ex packaging.

So anyway, now I'm just waiting for the money to hit my bank account.

..I hope that's how it works...

How to lose a guy in ten days. (because andy anderson fell in love with the guy and never actually wrote the article.)

“It’s a dating how-to, in reverse.” For those creeps you want absolutely nothing to do with, but you are just too sweet to break their heart.

 

I mean, why is it so, incredibly easy to get the guy that you are totally, completely and utterly not attracted to on the phone, asking you out, and falling in love with you?

 

It’s like the impossible task in reverse.

Because instead of it being impossible to get the guy to notice you, it’s impossible to get the guy to leave you alone.

 

I don't know, maybe it’s not a problem for most girls, but this is my problem. And it’s Logan’s problem. That’s why she is my best friend; we are like in cahoots with our relationship, “issues.”

I remember when we first talked about it, she told me her issue, “He texts me soo much! If I don’t text him back, he re-sends it! And if I ignore THAT he just waits a few hours and starts a whole new conversation. I need my space! He is driving me insane.”

Everyone within a 5-mile radius could hear my shriek of excitement. “Holy bananas, me too!! I hate it, I’m just like, get a life!”

And she goes on to tell me another issue. “Why do I always get the creeps? Let me tell you what he did….”
Then I let out another shriek, “ME TOO!! Why do we get always the creeps??! Remember ghost boy??”

For those of you who don't know, ghost boy is a guy I talked to for a couple weeks in high school, until one night on the phone he just stopped the conversation,

“Woah,” he said. “I just saw a ghost.”

“Umm…”

 

I didn’t know what to say. And then he just kept going about how his house is planted on an old Indian gravesite, and he sees ghosts all the time and now he’s a friend with the ghost and he shuts the doors for him…

Ohhhkay. All of a sudden I was “too tired to talk on the phone,” and “just not ready for a relationship.”

But I just realized that I am an expert at shrugging guys off. I mean, I have got it down to an art. Seriously. Give me one of these nuts and I can make him go from texting me, calling me, stalking, me to wanting nothing to do with me in 10 days. I've got it down so I never have to be mean and break the poor guys heart; it can even boost his confidence and maybe give him a chance with another girl; it allows us to stay friends, after he’s hit creeper mode. And lucky you! I'm going to share with you the best process I have found to do so.

How to take him from freak to friend in just 10 days.

He’s texting you. And it’s obsessive. And all you want is to ignore him. But no, with out flirting reply with as few words as possible until he asks you to hang out.

I know, I know, the last thing you want to do is hang out. But trust me.

So he asks you to hang out on a certain day. Suggest hanging out sooner. He says a new date and time. Agree; tell him you’ll text him tomorrow.

An hour before you’re supposed to hang out, make up an excuse and don't go.

You’ve got to make him anticipate this hang out sesh.

The more he wants it, the easier it is to let him down.

Change the plan to hang out in a few days. Go on with your life, blowing off his texts. When he texts you tell him you’re “getting into the shower”or “about to get to class” or “just sat down for lunch.”

You don’t have to text him until the day of the hangout.

Once you get over there to hang out, do. nothing. Be friendly, don’t be mean, but just sit there.

Complain that you want to do something or play a game - but then suck at the game. Quit the game. Turn on the TV and watch girly movies. When he flirts just ignore it, pretend not to notice. By the end of the night, he’ll either get the point, or just completely be turned away by you.

NOTE: This is only to be practiced on complete creepers who don't know how to take a hint. Or who refuse to take no for an answer.

awards rock especially when people are kind enough to tell you that you won one.

I can't tell you how often I've won an award and nobody thought to inform me.

like. RUDE.

I mean, I don't know how many times it's happened.

But I'm sure it's happened. Because if that's not the case, then that means I have just never won an award.

Which would be sad. And just not okay.

But I am excited to announce that I have received my FIRST BLOGGER AWARD!!

Ashley over at Delightful, Yet...? has chosen me as one of her Stylish Bloggers!

Which means that she was chosen before me... because she rocks.

And evidence of her rocking is the fact that she told me that she had a surprise for me. So I checked it out and this is what it was. An Award!!

Much classier than me, because I probably won't inform everyone on my list that I give them an award. Mostly because they are intimidating and they have like thousands of followers, and my miniscule award will most likely mean nothing to them.

But Ashley,

Thank you sooo much!!

So here are the rules:

1. Tell the world who nominated you!
2. State 7 interesting facts about you.
3. Pass along to 7 blogs that you think are phenomenal!

Interesting Facts:

1. I lived in the same house for 18 years until I moved out for college.

2. I travel a ton with my family and off the top of my head I can tell you I have been to Chicago, Michigan, New Jersey, West Virginia, Virginia, Pennsylvania, Georgia, North Carolina, Florida, Mexico, the Bahamas, Honduras, major cities in Texas. California, Utah, New York, and Tenessee. OH and been in four different states at once at the 4 corners.

3. I am a huge Betty White fan, and have been since before this Betty White Craze across America. I like to think I had something to do with it.

4. I have played sports all of my life starting from t-ball to soccer, basketball, then volleyball and softball in high school. Now in college I continue playing volleyball with friends and have picked up tennis.

5. I do not have a clue what I want to do with my life I'm just getting a degree because finding work without one is next to impossible; at least for me.

6. I have 45 minutes until my next class and I'm still in bed right now so I hope I won't be late.

7. I really really really want a dog and I came so close to getting the cutest puppy a few weeks ago, but then decided I couldn't afford the extra expense if I got caught having it in my apartment.

Ok, now the really fun part! Picking 7 great blogs that I think you'll enjoy reading. (In no particular order)

1. Annah @ Red Means Go

2. Kelley @ Kelley's Breakroom

3. Pookie @ Planet Pookie

4. Tickets For Two

5. Kate @ Hot Dishing

6. Janey @ One to One Thousand

7. Kate @ ChunkKnubbyNavel

Comprende?

I’m sitting here, on a Friday night, Indian-style on my bed with a can of Tootsie Rolls pouring out beside me. I have been through so much this week I know it will make for great stories. But it’s all so personal I want to stray as far away from it as I can.

For now, I want to sort through the mess in my mind to discover what I am doing home, blogging, eating Tootsie Rolls after my hour workout on a Friday night.

I don’t know how many calories are in a Tootsie Roll, but I can tell you I didn’t burn enough to eat these AND dinner.

So why am I here and not catching the late showing of No Strings Attached? Or line-dancing with my girls at Skyline, or shagging at Jillians? Or even in my living room playing the wii with a couple friends?

Well, according to me it’s because “I don’t like people.”
*awkward pause*

-side glance-

Just kidding. I would NEVER admit to not liking people. Especially to a stranger. Especially when I’m alone and probably shouldn't be.

Oh wait, yeah, I would. In fact, I did when I was left to ski all by myself this past weekend.

I was kind of regretting separating from the group. Not happy to be alone.
I got on the ski lift with this guy from Mississippi.

He kept asking/telling me random stuff like:

“So I just figured out those aren’t deer tracks. I was thinking DANG Tennessee has some huge deer. But then I learned they are bunny tracks. The two feet, and the little tail.”

Those were his first words to me. How am I supposed to react to this when I don’t even see the tracks he’s talking about?

He continued talking. “What’s your name?”

“Marjorie.”

“What?”

“Marjorie.”

“Audrey?”

oh here we go again.

“So single, married? Kids, no kids?”

I don’t know you.. “Single, no kids.”

“Oh well how’d that happen?”

“Um, I don’t know. I don’t like people.”

“Okay, shutting down now.”

Note to self: don’t tell strangers you don’t like people.

It was not the reaction I expected. Looking back, I guess I should have expected something similar. But I don’t know, I guess I have an issue where I assume people have my same sense of humor, when they clearly don’t.
Luckily we had time to clear it up and laugh it off. And a few hours later he saw me skiing down an expert slope and shouted out from the ski lift, “Marjorie! You Rock!” And I did the friendly, people-loving thing and waved.

Then took a dive for the worst. Tumbled forward, lost my ski’s and slid halfway down the mountain on my face. Thank God for the wood pole that stopped me or I would have flown right over the snow tubers.

So anyway. I’m people-loving, I may not always be the best at showing it, but it does come out eventually.. so that can’t be the reason I’m here.

And despite what I sometimes lead you to believe, I do have friends....

You know what. Maybe sometimes I just like to be alone.
Is that so hard to understand?
I mean, I got back from classes today and watched E! all day long - with no one here to judge me.

I especially love Keeping up with the Kardashians, which is incredibly hilarious and though the sense of humor is kind of out there and ridiculous, who am I to judge? I tell complete strangers I don’t like people. Note to self: not funny.

Then, I went to the gym. And when I came home..

I got to shower with my music as loud as I wanted,

with the doors wide open.

I got to air dry.

AND I got to dance around the house shamelessly like a white girl with my facial mask on while cooking my ravioli.

And guess what, if I was going out, or having people over, I would not have gotten to do any of that. Sure I would have been laughing and having a good time with friends. But I think alone time is just as important to one’s complexion and sanity.
Besides, I make myself laugh. So BOOM!

The Next 10 Years....

January 14, 2021

This is an assignment for my HRSM course this semester. Because I can't take anything seriously, I thought it was going to be useless and a complete joke. While there is still some joking in there, it actually ended up helping me figure out where I want to go with my life!

My teacher basically wrote the whole thing, and just left a few blanks open for me to fill out. And of course I let my imagination run wild...

O. K. You made it. It is now 10 years after your college graduation. You have just found an old friend from college on facebook. You have not seen each other since graduation. How would you describe your life? What would you say in this letter?

--------------------

Hi Amanda:

I can’t believe I found you! Can you believe 10 years have passed? Are you coming to our class reunion? If so, I can’t wait to see you.

So many things have changed for me as I’m sure they have for you. This is my third job since college. Right after college, I started a job at WSOC-TV in Charlotte, NC. Later, I accepted a position as a Promotion Manager with KHOU-TV in Houston, TX. And now I’m back in Charlotte working as a News Promotions Producer with WSOC-TV. I’m glad I get to dress relaxed at work and I don’t have to wear that silly apron like when I worked at D’s Wings. The best part of my job is working so closely with the news reporters and the great feeling that comes with successfully selling compelling and urgent news. My goal is to eventually work as a producer of a major talk show like Ellen Degeneres, or even work for a major network such as OWN. You know it always has been my dream to work with Oprah.

By the way, I’m living in Charlotte. But, if I relocate, I’ll probably move to Chicago. I am single and still, no kids! I live in a giant loft overlooking the city, and I'm still driving that old F150. I decided to put my money to better use and got the loft rather than a car, and what’s left goes to traveling & having fun.

In my spare time, I’m still playing volleyball and tennis. I swear I’ll be the oldest lady on the court when I’m 80. When I take a vacation, it’s usually either to somewhere I've never been, or Wagener to see my family and old high school friends. The thing I am most proud of is getting out of there. Leaving was so hard, but worth it. I’m finally able to take my friends and family out to eat. I can drive and pay for their meals without feeling an ounce of frugality. I have the ability to treat them like I always wanted to treat them, and pay them back for everything they’ve done for me.

The character I’ve come to value the most in people is love. It’s hard to love, and it’s harder to find people who love. I’ve learned not to take anyone I love or who loves me for granted. And, what makes me most happy is that everything is okay. You know I didn’t have any big dreams going through college, and it scared me that without a goal I wouldn’t know what to accomplish. But somehow it all worked out and just living is able to put a smile on my face.

Well, enough about me, I hope you facebook me soon and update me on your life. I’m looking forward to hearing from you.

Your friend,

Marj

Holla' at ya girl!

Sometimes, the hardest thing in life is being happy for yourself.

or... is that just me?

I think for some people it might just come natural - being proud,
being confident, being okay with getting the good attention.

Don't get me wrong, I am so okay with getting attention.

That's why I wear shirts that say stuff like

I ♥ To Fart

And dress in giant Sumo Wrestler suits and fight people

But I think it's just easier for some of us to feel sorry for ourselves.
Being okay with our weaknesses and what we don't have is more comfortable than being okay with our strengths and what we do have.

I'm not saying that loving to fart is a weakness..

It might be hard to swallow, hard to admit, but most of us like keeping the emphasis on the bad, the sad and the ugly. It can be uncomfortable being happy for ourselves, and sharing our success stories with others.
Others might get their feelings hurt if we are proud of ourselves, and happy with everything we have. We are not confident enough to risk being egotistical and obnoxious.

But the truth is, with the more confidence we have in ourselves, the more okay we will be with both our strengths and weaknesses. And sometimes your confidence will inspire confidence among others, and your success stories will inspire others to do the same."Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

-Marianne Williamson

Take for example my mom, who started blogging a few years ago on blogspot and turned her blog into her own website: PlanetPookie.com

She's the first person I know to have started a blog. She's kept it up the same from the very beginning. No matter how many people viewed the blog, no matter how many people commented, no matter how many people follow.. She does it, because it makes her happy. And she's darn good at it!

Now she's got a ton of people subscribed to her blog, a ton of daily readers. And just about every time I go out, somebody mentions one of her recent blog posts.
She's always had enough confidence in herself and in what she was doing to not quit.

Me? I quit. I started blogging years ago and quit after so long without any new readers. It felt like only my family was reading, and I thought nothing I wrote was interesting anyway. A while later I picked it back up again, thinking I'd start a video blog! But I did two of those and quit.

So now I'm back, with my mom as my inspiration. I post just as often as I have something to write. I say whatever is on my mind. And if people don't care, they don't have to read it. It doesn't bother me anymore if someone doesn't want to comment on my blog post, or if nobody wants to read it. It's here for me.

And my mom's confidence inspired my confidence. My mom's success story inspired my success story.

Nahh I still don't have 1,273 followers.

BUT I have 1,273 views! and 17 followers.

AND yesterday, I was Editor's Pick for Bloggers.com!
MY blog was the very first one you'd see when you visited the website!

So as a special thanks to my mommy, I would like to re-direct everyone who reads this post to PlanetPookie.com.

Written by the woman I just heard in the kitchen say oh so calmly, "Ooh, the towel's on fire."

So please, Go holla' at ya girl!!