Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Why So Serious?



"The unexamined life is not worth living."

Well sure, it's not worth living. But why not?

If a person is not open for others to question his or her thoughts and action, or lives in denial of the motivations that prompt his or her thoughts and action, then it is a waste of his or her life. Such a life is a superficial act, revealing nothing new, nothing unique. Such a life is not "real."
-Wiki

This is probably the biggest thing I have struggled with. I've tried so hard to be able to provide the answers when people question my life, to find my motivations, find reasons.

But is it possible that you can think too much?
I feel like I've spent so much time focused on the reasons for living, that I have lost track of living.
 
Everything has become a constant thought. I think before I speak, I think before I act, I think about what I have done, and I dissect every detail of my life trying to understand my motivations, trying not to hurt people.

Why does everything need an explanation right away?

It's like when you take someone to Disney World and they just keep asking, "Why are those people dressed as mice?"

"Why can't you just sit back and enjoy yourself?!"

What happened to the girl who said things just to make someone laugh? The girl who did things without thinking?

The girl who knew she had a purpose, and rather than trying to explain the purpose, she just lived out the purpose.

Somewhere along the way I stopped to examine my life, which is okay for a brief time, but at some point you've got to get going again. I forgot to pick things back up, I never stopped analyzing it.

I got so worried about living a "superficial act, revealing nothing new."
When I stopped to think, I over-thought. 
 
Suddenly I saw anger and confusion in peoples faces when I said off-the-cuff things. I saw myself as immature for doing things without thinking.

I became obsessed with pleasing others, answering questions correctly, doing the right thing; not just trying to live the best life, but trying to be the best at life.

Maybe it did become kind of a competition. I compared myself to others all the time. I'd look at where they are the best in life, and try my hardest to be more like them in that area. Because I want to be the best.

I just wish I could turn my thinker off, stop questioning things, stop comparing myself and just enjoy the wonderful life God has given me.

2 comments:

Mollie said...

I have also lost my muchness at times. Once upon a time I felt I was much more....muchier.

It comes and goes.

Grysh said...

I think we have the same problem, asking ourselves question and forgetting about living life the way we should be. I guess we should just stop thinking too much and just go on with the flow of life as it should be. Sooner or later, the answers will slowly be found.