Friday, November 5, 2010

It's not my time, I don't mind.

I felt like I was waiting in line for a ride. I was 4'5, and when I finally got to the front they told me I had to be 4'6 to get on.

Have you ever felt like that? Like you've waited and waited for so long just for this one moment, and when you finally think it's your time, BAM! It's not.

So I stood there. Closed my little eyes, stretched all my muscles in my body, & prayed to God He would let me grow.
"Now God!! I'm ready!! It's just an INCH God, that is all I need! I TRUST in You, I KNOW you can make me grow an inch right this second if You wanted to! Come ON God!!"

I tried to grow, in that moment. Because I thought I was ready.
The thing is, you can't force growth. Physical, spiritual, or mental growth... It all comes in time.

Ecclesiastes 1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
But that is how I felt when I finally got to college.
"Alright God, I'm ready to grow!!"
"I'm here to be the woman you want me to be. I'm here to find the man you want me to meet. Figure out the road you want to lead me down. I've waited so long, God, I'm ready to go."

I just thought once I got to college, it would become clear. I would know where I'm supposed to be and grow into the person needed for that position. So imagine my disappointment when it didn't happen. Like a kid, who just found out she isn't tall enough to ride the ride she's been waiting in line for. Like a kid who feels like she's never going to be big enough. And it has her wondering, "Why am I even at this theme park?"

Truth is, I'M NOT the person that most offices in the Sport & Entertainment business would hire. I have no idea where I want to be in the business and to be honest I don't really care. I'm not there yet. It just isn't my time.
If we were all 100% on our own, where would God be in our lives? If we were the person we wanted to be, then we wouldn't need God.
So for now, I'm ok being here, trusting God will one day get me there.

1 comment:

Poof said...

Pastor Philip reminded us of this and I thought it applicable to you right now! Psalm 37 Trust in the LORD, and do good;Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness.
Delight yourself also in the LORD,
And He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD, Trust also in Him,
And He shall bring it to pass.
He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light, And your justice as the noonday.