Drying the Tears - A Poem for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

In October 1988, President Ronald Reagan proclaimed October as National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month as a way to recognize the loss so many parents experience across the United States and around the world. It is also meant to inform and provide resources for parents who have lost children due to miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, molar pregnancy, stillbirths, birth defects, SIDS, and other similar causes.

Since then, Robyn Bear has proclaimed October 15th to be Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day so that we have a single day to reach out to those grieving, a day for all grieving parents to come together and reflect on the loss yet embrace the love. While our babies' lives were so brief, they were also very meaningful. Yet, there was not a time to talk about them. Our society seemed to forget or perhaps didn't know how to reach out.

For Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day we hope that you take a moment to reach out to someone who you know is grieving, or share an article or image you think could help someone feel like the world cares and they're not alone. We ask everyone in all times zones, worldwide, join us in a candle lighting ceremony at 7pm on October 15th.

---  Drying the Tears: A Poem for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day ---

Here I am alone, wondering what it would be like
to be doing what I'm doing, and then to hear you cry.

Would I be the kind of mommy that smiles at every sound,
or would I be so tired that I fall to the ground?

Would I appreciate your life the way that you deserve?
Would I listen to your cries, and make you feel heard?

Would you throw your toys, then look up at me and smile?
Would you give me big hugs just because it's been a while?

Would you make a big mess and let me teach you how to clean?
Would you bite your cousin's arm? Would you be naughty and mean?

Would I have loved you as strongly as I love you now?
Would you have a happy life? Could we make it, somehow?

Would we sing the same songs and laugh at life together?
I can't help but think that life would be so much better.

As I'm holding back tears, I look up to the skies,

and smile when I feel you drying mommy's eyes.

Not a single tear's fallen and I know that you're here
with me every day, drying the tears.


Resources for Pregnancy and Infant Loss:
What I Wish I Knew Before I Delivered My Stillborn Son
For the Mamas Who Lost Their Babies: You are still a Mother
What I Mean When I Say My Daughter Was Stillborn
Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support Facebook Group
October 15th

Braden's Letter: Mommy Please Don't Cry

Mommy please don't cry, I see you down below.
I know you wonder why you had to see me go.

But Mommy, I love it here, and I know you'll love it too.
The angels take good care of me, & they'll take care of you.

I know you miss me bad, I know that it's been hard,
but Mommy don't be sad that we're so far apart.

One day you'll get to see me, and you'll get to hold my hand.
When the time is right we'll meet. I hope you understand.

It's been explained to me, by an Angel at the gate.
She helped me to see, why I shouldn't be afraid.

I can't tell you why, but one day you will see,
That we are truly blessed, and you'll be set free.

There's a reason that I'm here, and not below with you.
Believe that I am happy, and want you to be too.

I don't like to see you cry, although you think I do.
I can't wait until we meet, mommy, I love you.

PHOTO VERSION TO SHARE:

Life is Nothing Without You

Today is the day. The one day of the year that I keep in my mind all year around. The one day that I have already planned to plan nothing for the rest of my life. April 15.

The day that I have tattooed on my neck. The day that I simultaneously dread and look forward to. The day that changed my life forever.

It's the day that my son would be turning 2, should life have thrown me the miracle I prayed for.

Or, the day that should mean nothing to me, should life have gone the way I had wanted.

But that's not what life is about, is it? When something good happens, when things go as planned, you don't hear people say, "Well, that's life for ya!" Because that's not life.

Life is full of disappointment, lost hope, broken promises. It comes with pain, loss and grief. Life is ugly.

And what I've learned over the years is that nothing, and I mean nothing compares to the love of Jesus Christ.

Nothing can give you hope, restore your joy, or fill the void when you've lost the thing you valued most in life quite like God can.

Nothing else can pull you in and hold you tight when you feel all alone and afraid for your life, or give you hope when you think there's no reason for you to stay, or give you strength when you feel like you can't get back up.

Everything in this world is fleeting. Here today, gone tomorrow.

But God is forever. He is Zen. He is love, forgiveness, teacher, shrink, father, and best friend. He is your good conscience, your direction.. He is everything.

In everything that has happened in my life, He is the one constant. He is home.

It's not the church, it's not the people, it's not the small town, it's not the house I grew up in, it's not eating pizza on Friday nights. Everything that I thought made me happy, is nothing.

And now I know from here on out, anything that I think makes me happy, is nothing. It's nothing compared to God.