A painful affair

Four years later and I'm out of words.
I can't explain the way it hurts.

I can't deny my feeling bitter,
when a baby laughs, and I'm just the sitter.

While some leave scars you see so clear,
wounds like mine just disappear.

The pain, I feel most every night,
it scoots up close and holds me tight.

When death chose us to intertwine,
this pain became my glass of wine - 

my solace when it seems surreal -
a love affair to make me feel.

My comfort is this aching heart.
It's been here with me from the start.

It tucks me in most every night,
and memories flash til morning light.

A strong reminder that you were here,
This pain is something I hold dear.

Drying the Tears - A Poem for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

In October 1988, President Ronald Reagan proclaimed October as National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month as a way to recognize the loss so many parents experience across the United States and around the world. It is also meant to inform and provide resources for parents who have lost children due to miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, molar pregnancy, stillbirths, birth defects, SIDS, and other similar causes.

Since then, Robyn Bear has proclaimed October 15th to be Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day so that we have a single day to reach out to those grieving, a day for all grieving parents to come together and reflect on the loss yet embrace the love. While our babies' lives were so brief, they were also very meaningful. Yet, there was not a time to talk about them. Our society seemed to forget or perhaps didn't know how to reach out.

For Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day we hope that you take a moment to reach out to someone who you know is grieving, or share an article or image you think could help someone feel like the world cares and they're not alone. We ask everyone in all times zones, worldwide, join us in a candle lighting ceremony at 7pm on October 15th.

---  Drying the Tears: A Poem for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day ---

Here I am alone, wondering what it would be like
to be doing what I'm doing, and then to hear you cry.

Would I be the kind of mommy that smiles at every sound,
or would I be so tired that I fall to the ground?

Would I appreciate your life the way that you deserve?
Would I listen to your cries, and make you feel heard?

Would you throw your toys, then look up at me and smile?
Would you give me big hugs just because it's been a while?

Would you make a big mess and let me teach you how to clean?
Would you bite your cousin's arm? Would you be naughty and mean?

Would I have loved you as strongly as I love you now?
Would you have a happy life? Could we make it, somehow?

Would we sing the same songs and laugh at life together?
I can't help but think that life would be so much better.

As I'm holding back tears, I look up to the skies,

and smile when I feel you drying mommy's eyes.

Not a single tear's fallen and I know that you're here
with me every day, drying the tears.


Resources for Pregnancy and Infant Loss:
What I Wish I Knew Before I Delivered My Stillborn Son
For the Mamas Who Lost Their Babies: You are still a Mother
What I Mean When I Say My Daughter Was Stillborn
Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support Facebook Group
October 15th

Braden's Letter: Mommy Please Don't Cry

Mommy please don't cry, I see you down below.
I know you wonder why you had to see me go.

But Mommy, I love it here, and I know you'll love it too.
The angels take good care of me, & they'll take care of you.

I know you miss me bad, I know that it's been hard,
but Mommy don't be sad that we're so far apart.

One day you'll get to see me, and you'll get to hold my hand.
When the time is right we'll meet. I hope you understand.

It's been explained to me, by an Angel at the gate.
She helped me to see, why I shouldn't be afraid.

I can't tell you why, but one day you will see,
That we are truly blessed, and you'll be set free.

There's a reason that I'm here, and not below with you.
Believe that I am happy, and want you to be too.

I don't like to see you cry, although you think I do.
I can't wait until we meet, mommy, I love you.

PHOTO VERSION TO SHARE:

A Father's Grief

To my boyfriend Donnie

In memory of our son

Braden Ray Leach

April 15, 2013

This poem made me think of you. You've been so strong. I'm so sorry your first Father's Day has to feel like this.

It must be very difficult 

To be a man in grief, 

Since "men don't cry" 

and "men are strong" 

No tears can bring relief.  

They always ask if she's all right 

And what she's going through. 

But seldom take his hand and ask, 

"My friend, but how are you?" 

He hears her crying in the night 

And thinks his heart will break. 

He dries her tears and comforts her, 

But "stays strong" for her sake. 

It must be very difficult 

To start each day anew. 

And try to be so very brave- 

He lost his baby too. 

A Poem For Surviving Moms

My mom is a survivor,

Or so I have heard it said.

But I can hear her crying

When all others are in bed.

I watch her lay awake at night

And go to hold her hand.

She doesn’t know I’m with her

To help her understand.

But like the sands upon the beach

That never wash away...

I watch over my surviving mom,

Who thinks of me each day.

She wares a smile for others...

A smile of disguise.

But through heaven’s open door

I see tears flowing from her eyes

My mom tries to cope with my death

To keep my memory alive.

But to anyone who knows her

Knows it’s her way to survive.

As I watch over my surviving mom

Through heaven’s open door...

I try to tell her

Angels protect me forevermore.

I know that doesn’t help her...

Or ease the burden she bears.

So if you get a chance, talk to her...

And show her that you care.

For no matter what she says...

No matter what she feels.

My surviving mom has a broken heart

That time won’t ever heal.

This poem was written by Kaye Des'Ormeaux