Things To Expect With Incompitent Cervix That I Wasn't Prepared For

When I was first pregnant at 21 years old, I went in for a 20 week check up and found that I was 6cm dilated. They diagnosed me with Incompetent Cervix. 

I was put on bed rest - the only option when your cervix is this thin. It was only 4 days until my water broke and my son came way too soon.

My doctor at the time assured me that the next time I got pregnant, I would be able to have a procedure done that would give me a high chance of carrying full-term or close to it.

So this pregnancy, at 12 weeks I was fortunate enough to meet with a local specialist and at 15 weeks I got a cervical cerclage.

That is about all that has gone as expected this pregnancy. Pretty much everything else came as an absolute shock.

Here are the 10 things that I didn't expect with incompetent cervix: 

1. Being Awake During the Cervical Cerclage Procedure - and feeling the doctor doing things inside of me. I had hoped there was a safe way to knock me out without hurting the baby, but unfortunately all I got was a spinal. It numbed all pain from the chest down, however I was still wide awake during the procedure. I could hear everything, and there were some weird sounds. I could feel objects moving around inside me. It literally felt like a dentist appointment in my vagina.
2. Staying in a Recovery Room for 5 Hours Post-Procedure - I've had a gallbladder surgery, and that's about it. This recovery room experience was a first for me, and completely unexpected. The recovery time was unexpected as well. I had read online it could be 3 hours, but I didn't know why. My surgery was done at 12:30pm, and I didn't leave the hospital until about 5:30pm. I got out of the recovery room a few minutes before 5pm. That's almost 5 hours in a room full of really sick, coughing, suffering loudly people. The person to my left was hacking up a lung for hours, the person to my right was snoring really loud, and the person on the other side of the hallway stripped naked and ran off. I couldn't leave until I could lift my own butt off the bed, and I must be a light-weight because that spinal took forever to wear off.
3. Taking a Pill Every Night, Vaginally - Apparently progesterone suppositories are a regular recommendation for those of us with incompetent cervix who get the cerclage. I read a study that I can't find again, but I believe it said without progesterone the cerclage is about 50% successful, and with progesterone it's above 80% successful. So every night when I am about to pass out and then remember I need to take this pill and really want to skip it and just go to sleep, I remind myself how much this can help my baby survive and get my butt up to take the pill.
4. Feeling the Cervical Cerclage Inside Myself (when I insert the pill every night). This really had me freaked out the first time it happened. I was trying to figure out what the heck I was feeling, was it my baby or placenta slipping out of me? Was the cerclage falling out? It doesn't help that it was at night when my thoughts tend to really run wild. I didn't sleep at all that night. Then the doc told me it was just extra cerclage ribbon hanging down.
5. Still Having to Wear Pads - One of the things I looked forward to most during pregnancy was not having to worry about pads & tampons anymore.. boy was I wrong. Some days I say screw it and don't wear them, but I usually regret that because the amount of discharge caused by my progesterone pills. It's almost enough to make you think your water broke some days.
6. Having So Many Doctors Appointments - When I first found out I was pregnant, starting immediately I wanted the doctor's office to see me every week just out of concern. Being that I was only about 6 weeks, they, of course, didn't. But once I got to my second trimester I was going bi-weekly at least, sometimes weekly or even twice a week. By 20 weeks, I had been to 10 appointments when most people would be on their 2nd appointment. No complaints here - luckily I have a job that allows me to do it. I have no idea how others could keep a job and have incompetent cervix, though.
7. Not Being Put on Bed Rest, But Knowing It Could Happen Any Day - Before this experience, I thought there was a good chance that when I got my cerclage I would be put on bed rest or modified bed rest at best. But I've actually been allowed to do "life as normal" - it doesn't always feel like it since I can't do anything that exudes too much energy or stress on my body like working out, or anything that could cause infection like swim or take long baths. But I can still go on vacation, go grocery shopping, do the dishes & laundry, film weddings on the weekends that I have them booked (I am a wedding videographer), etc. Unfortunately, this doesn't apply to everyone, and it could not apply to me in a couple of weeks. As long as my cervix is measuring 3-4cm long my doctor says I can carry on with a fairly regular life.
8. My Cervix Growing Over My Cerclage - I'm only 23 weeks right now, so as far as I know this hasn't happened to me, but I am fully expecting it to. The women I've talked to in the waiting room have had this happen, and when I brought it up to the doctor he was like, "Ah, yeah that happens," all nonchalantly. Apparently it happens a lot. They just cut the cerclage out and it leaves a lot of scar tissue.
9. Planning to Have a Regular Labor Experience / Vaginal Delivery - I honestly didn't know if once I got the cerclage I'd be able to have a vaginal delivery. I thought once I was sewn up it would stay and I would have a C-section. Apparently they will do another procedure to take the cerclage out around 37 weeks, which should allow me to naturally go into labor and have a vaginal delivery anytime after that.
10. Not Knowing What's a "Normal Pregnancy Pain" And What's Different For Me. There are a lot of random things that happen to pregnant women that may have never happened to someone else before, skin issues as an example is something I've dealt with. But when it comes to certain abdominal pain, it's really hard for me to know if it's "normal" or if it's because my cervix is adjusting to being sewn up, or is it infection, or is it something else? As if pregnant women don't have enough to stress out about, every little pain makes me wonder if my stitch is okay or if something could be going wrong.

Did you have a cervical cerclage? Let me know what you've been dealing with that you were totally unprepared for in the comments!

10 Things To Do For FUN During a High-Risk Pregnancy (If You're Not on Bed Rest)

23 weeks and counting, and this high-risk pregnancy has me really struggling to find ways to feel like myself and not feel like life as I know it is over.

I've always said that I won't be a mom who drops everything she loves when she has kids - and I know I'm too selfish to ever let that happen, but right now I have to do everything I can to keep my baby girl safe inside me.

My husband works swing-shift, and it's hard enough to get time together. Lately when we do, the conversation usually starts like this:

Husband: "What do you want to do tonight, babe?"
Me: "I'm not really sure, what do you want to do?"
Husband: "I can't really think of anything that won't put too much stress on your body."
Me: *huge sigh*

My body is exhausted of resting. My hips are killing me from laying on my side so much. And I'm only halfway through this pregnancy.

I found myself typing into Google: "Things to do for fun when your high-risk" and all I got were huge lists of things I couldn't do. Typical.

SO I have compiled a list of things that WE CAN do during a high-risk pregnancy - given that you're not on bed rest. Of course, everyone of us is different, and for some of these you should probably text your doctor really quick to make sure it's okay in your specific case. I know you have his or her cell number just like I do.

For the record here is a quick cap of things I can't do during my high-risk pregnancy that I usually do for fun:

1. Swim
2. Take a bath
3. Have sex
4. Drink wine / alcohol (obvious but still worth mentioning)
5. Over-eat
6. Exercise
7. Ride go-carts /  four wheelers
8. Bowling
9. Duck hunting

10 Things To Do For FUN During a High-Risk Pregnancy:

1. Mini Golf - My doc approved for me to go to the driving range with my husband, we both enjoy golfing. But after a while the heat and the big swings had me feeling some pain that scared me. But mini golf is a definite date idea during high-risk pregnancy. The small swings, light walking, and going in the evening as it's cooling down outside makes it a win in my books.
2. Play Board Games - This isn't something my husband and I have a habit of doing on our own. Some couples do. We used to have friends over for drinking games, but now we're learning to sit at the table and play board games sober. Invite some friends or family over, or stick to the two of you. When you can't have sex, it can be a struggle to find ways to be intimate with your husband. A little one-on-one competition or game of laughter is great way to step away from the electronics and focus on each other.
3. Paint a Canvas - Everybody loves to paint. I've found myself signing up for Paint 'n' Sip nights and then realizing I can't sip. But canvas's and paints are really cheap and easy to find at Walmart. Don't forget to pick up a small table easel and you'll be all set for your own relaxing paint night at home. Just don't forget to drop the perfectionism when you pick up the paint brush or you'll end up stressing yourself out. Nobody has to see this painting when you're done, just do it to relax, and if you enjoy it, you'll get better in time.
4. Beach/Lake Day - Lay out, sit in the shade, walk along the shore for a little while, go fishing... If you don't live close to the beach or a lake, maybe take a ride up the closest mountain, to a nearby waterfall, or whatever cool landmark is near your city and just have a picnic and enjoy the view with your significant other, family or friends. It may seem like the last thing you want to do if it's a couple hours away, but if it gets you out of the house and doesn't put stress on your body, just do it or you're going to go crazy this pregnancy.
5. Shoot Pool / Billiards - This involves a decent amount of bending over, but if you pull up a chair and have no shame, you can do this without putting too much stress on your body and enjoy a night out with the husband like you used to, only a little different. It kind of prepares you for old age together. 
6. Listen To Live Music - Facebook events are wonderful for finding local live music. Go to the local park, bar or restaurant to hear some live music. Maybe pick a genre or event you wouldn't usually go to like open mic night or bluegrass, you need a little spice in your life right now. Heck, go to karaoke and try doing it sober for once.
7. Get a Massage / Couples Massage - This can be pricey, but when my husband and I were dating I signed up to be a secret shopper, and we were reimbursed for both of our massages. During this pregnancy he bought a prenatal massage for me early in my second trimester and it was amazing. I wasn't getting any sleep and had tension headaches all day long for about 2 weeks straight, after my massage the headaches and back pain went away. I started sleeping better too, until later in the second trimester when my belly got much bigger - but this was solved with a pregnancy pillow.
8. Go To the Local Flea or Farmer's Market - Walk at your own pace, quit when you've had enough. Get outside for a while and spend very little money on things that you need or don't need for your little one that's on the way.
9. Go to a Comedy or Theater Show - Nothing beats a night of hardy laughter. Who needs to drink when you're thoroughly entertained? Find a comedy show or a show at the local theater that sparks your interest. Not only are you supporting your local community, but you're going to have a night out with very little stress.
10. Google Things To Do In Your City or Towns Nearby - The chamber of commerce in most towns are just now getting with the program and starting to get their websites updated with useful information. If you looked before, there could be something totally new on their website now. I have always loved horses. I just recently moved near a town that hosts annual horse races. When I googled things to do in that town, I was really happily surprised to see that I could go to the track and watch the horses exercise, and they host a National Steeplechase Museum. I would have never known this if I wasn't sitting home, bored out of my mind during my high-risk pregnancy.

Got any other ideas? Leave a comment with some things we could do during our high-risk pregnancies!

Good Articles To Read For Those Struggling With High Risk Pregnancy

I took a quiz the other day to learn my enneagram type, (an ancient body of wisdom that identifies nine core personality types and how each sees and interacts with the world). I'm a romantic.

Described by disowned emotional fluctuations, difficulty accepting constraints and ordinary aspects of life, a tendency to fall in self-absorption, disproportionate idealism, a tendency to focus upon what is missing or lacking in the relationship, and finally sensitivity to criticism.

Spot on.

Dealing with the condition I've been dealt with and the struggles of a high risk pregnancy hasn't been the easiest for a self-absorbed, overly emotional romantic like me. If you think a high risk pregnancy is a breeze, and if you think bed rest is an opportunity to be lazy, you my friend are a rare breed and I hope you realize how lucky you are.

For me, not being able to get up and go to the gym as both my outlet and my method to keep in shape is extremely hard to deal with. Worrying that people think I'm using pregnancy as an excuse to not do things really bothers me. Hearing, "It's okay to work out while you're pregnant," or "You really don't need to be that worried," makes me feel so frustrated and misunderstood.

For others with high risk pregnancy, keeping to a strict diet, giving themselves shots every day, or visiting the OBGYN every week can make life so complicated that they cry at the thought of it.

I've lost one child already because of my condition. Don't try to tell me I just don't appreciate the gift that I'll get when this is over. I KNOW how bad I want a safe, healthy daughter, and I am willing to do everything I need to for her. But that doesn't mean it's easy. And it sure doesn't mean I won't shed a few tears.

So, sitting on this couch feeling my muscles that I worked so hard for turn to mush, I began my search for articles, blogs, anything related to my condition called Incompetent Cervix. There really isn't much more than Web MD definition type of stuff. But I was able to find a few things that gave me comfort that I'm not alone, and that made me realize that I don't have it as bad as I sometimes feel that I do.

For other mamas out there struggling to keep it together during their high risk pregnancy, here's a collection of some articles that I personally don't want to lose site of.

If you think you have it bad, try reading about women in South Africa: What Is Incompetent Cervix? A Mom Shares Her Story.

If you think you're alone in feeling this way, check out these 10 Struggles Every Mom With A High Risk Pregnancy Can Understand.

If you're looking for some straight-forward, honest advice: 10 Tips to Get Through Your High-Risk Pregnancy Without Losing Your Shit

If you just like reading other's stories check out, Truly Tafakari's post, Carrying My High-Risk Pregnancy and the “Weight” of Mommy Guilt

If you want to follow a blogger who has had incompetent cervix and who posts regularly on pregnancy & mom-related subject, I've really enjoyed Priscilla Blossom's posts on Romper.

And if you feel like there aren't enough resources for women like you, then start a blog or facebook group and get something going. There really aren't enough blogs about high risk pregnancy, but with more and more women feeling comfortable to talk about the honest truth, it's only a matter of time.

Have an article that you enjoyed reading during your high risk pregnancy? Please share in the comments!