Sunday, October 31, 2010

I Love Halloween, And I Love America.


I found me a friend, grabbed us a knife, and ran out to the Wal Mart and bought a couple pun'kins. Picked up some cat ears and tail for $5 dollars and called it a costume.
Happy Halloween!!
-----------------

Remember when I was all like,
Where's my pumpkin??
and feeling like a lame-o because halloween was not being celebrated?
Well, that has all changed sister. I've been halloweenin since Thursday.

I crashed a couple parties.
Carved a couple pumpkins.

Wearing the same outfit every night, because I'm a broke college student with a job I vow to quit every time I work. And unfortunately, I don't have a candle to stick inside my pumpkin. But even if I did, we're too afraid to leave it outside due to the frequent raccoons, ants, and hobo's.
BUT, I'm just glad this weekend finally got to feeling Halloweeny.

Every holiday I realize just how much I love holidays. A reason to do nothing but party and eat and have fun with friends! Nothing better. Especially those holidays where work closes and school shuts down, and you walk around America knowing everyone is celebrating with you.
Speaking of America...
I love. America.
I really do. I feel like that saying has just become a cliche. And shouldn't be. America really is a great country. And I've really been in the American spirit, what with General Election Day coming up Tuesday.
I met a guy who was going to the John Stewart Rally to Restore Sanity (and/or Fear). And I asked him what it was about. He didn't know. He said nobody really knows. So I looked it up. And I have to say.. I don't think John Stewart even knows what it's about.

"When humor goes, there goes civilization." -Erma Bombeck

I think it's just about America and comedy. I don't know! It's a rally for the calm people of America. For the people who have "not wanted to open their window and shout at the top of their lungs." On a date "of no significance whatsoever."
Supposedly like "Woodstock, but with the nudity and drugs replaced by respectful disagreement."
But, does this tell you what it's about? Because I'm still lost. I even watched it. Well, some of it. Catch Me if You Can, with Leonardo DiCaprio & Tom Hanks was on, so I flipped to the rally on commercials. (Typical American, I knoww). But the parts of the rally I did see were just people singing, or reading long sarcastic letters/poems, and plenty of other jokes.
Is that what this rally was? Just to get together and laugh about the things we're angry about? Maybe so, if you saw it or know about it, I would love to know what you think it was about!

Friday, October 29, 2010

HOW old am I??


Nineteen. Nigh'teen. 19. ONE-NINE.
No matter how you say it, spell it, or read it, 19 doesn't seem like a big number. Compared to the gazillion numbers there are, 19 is minuscule.

So what got me sitting here feeling so old?
-------------
A few weeks ago, I was on the bus with a friend comparing our songs on our ipods.
"TLC, Brandy, Ace of Base..." I read out as I shuffled through my songs. "I got old school hits." I explained. Thinking, it wasn't that old school, just from when I was little. A couple years ago.

You know?
"90's music" he said.
Duh.
"Those tracks are from 20 years ago."
GULP. "WHAT??"
TWENTY years?? My music is from twenty years ago. My childhood music. is old. Do you realize, that makes me old? Technically. If there's one thing I learned in high school, it's the transitive property.
If A=B, and B=C, then A=C.
If My childhood = 90's music,
and 90's music = Old
then...
you get the point.
 
So needless to say, that freaked me out a little bit.
 
But then...
the other day, I go to Starbucks with my mom. An unexpected trip, so I have nothing to read. I grab a couple of magazines from her car that look good. Travel, Oprah, Home.
I mean, they all have pretty covers, and interesting titles for the stories inside. So I get in there, and open up my first mag. I start reading the stories and the helpful health & beauty tips. But then I get to the fashion tips. That is when I realized I was reading a magazine for older women. Fashion is just different.

I just kind of laughed and read on, passing little reminders along the way that this was not a magazine for my age group. Such as the add with the lady letting go of a red balloon.. "Menopause, Discover how to let go." Oh dear.
But the little champ that I am.. I read on. I got to this interesting story entitled "Internet Intervention." Interesting... I thought. So I began reading.
Then I realized it was a mom talking about how to keep her kids safe with the internet. She wrote all the things she was afraid of, all the things her kids were doing, and all the rules she set to keep them safe. That is when I realized I was agreeing with her. Not only was I agreeing with her, I was agreeing with my own parents who did the same things with me. I was comparing her story to my parents and my childhood, and thinking about what I'm going to do with my children. Then it hit me.
This is how it all starts.
This is how they trap women into getting old.
Sitting at a Starbucks, innocently reading a magazine for older women. Then, I'll be thinking like the older women. Then I'll be dressing like the older women. And then...
I'll be the older women.

oh.
oh no.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

HaLlOwEeN?

It is a creepy, stormy halloween night, and I sit here, on my compy, WRITING. Like, why am I not watching a Double Double Toil & Trouble with a friend? Or carving pumpkins and preparing my halloween costume? Or freaking out about the black cat sitting outside our door?
 



 I really, really, really want to carve a pumpkin!! I feel like I'm missing out.
I don't have a knife, I don't have a pumpkin, but I feel like if I just find someone to do it with, it will all come together! Everybody is uploading awesome pictures of amazingly carved pumpkins and I'm like..
:( where's mine?


I'm just a lame-o. I cannot wait until tomorrow night when the halloween spirit really kicks in!
My friend & I are going to get costumes. And pumpkins. Then my first of many a halloween party begins!

Super YAY! I hope you all have a S'wonderfully scarey halloween! And may the best costume win (the best candy)!

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Fam(ily)


There I was, chilling with my hot, glow-in-the-dark, fake ray-ban sunglasses feeling like I could ignore the world and still be loved. Because these shades are that cool.
----------------
I just recently got these amazing sunglasses. Hardly anyone knows about their amazingness, because it has to be completely dark to see it.
That's right, they're glow in the dark.

I am totally pumped about them, by the way.

I'm not sure what it is about these sunglasses that gets to me. I don't know if it's the irony of them, the complete randomness of them, or the fact that they were free.
But either way, I'm in.


For Fall Break I spent a few days at home chilling my good friends, catching up with my ever-growing small town, and visiting my family.

One night, my mom and I were on our third Mary-Kate and Ashley movie when I saw my sunglasses just sitting there. The little kid that I am, of course I jumped up and begged my mom to come see them glow in the dark! My brother was playing with his fancy Cannon (insert number) camera, so I asked him if he would come and try to get a picture of it.
It didn't take much convincing, but it took us several tries to find a room dark enough. We walked room to room until we found the perfect room.
And when we did, it was amazing.
We laughed and laughed at the sight of neon sunglasses just floating in the pitch black space.
This made me realize that I have so much more than amazing sunglasses in my life. My family, is, amazing.
The fact that my mom & brother took the time to see what I was so excited about.
The fact that they got as in to my sunglasses as I was.
The fact that my mom watched three Mary Kate and Ashley movies in a row with me.

My family cares enough about me to care about my sunglasses.
They care about what I care about, because they care about me? A lot of people don't have that, and I am just really, really glad that I made it home to experience it once again.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Where Are My Tears?

Just after hearing that my great grandma died yesterday morning, I got another phone call that my grandpa, on the other side of the family, also passed away.
-----------
Hearing the news of Nana, while extremely sad, was expected. I got to say goodbye to her. I hoped deep in my heart a miracle would happen, and she'd be wake up with a 75 year old body & mind & live forever. But to get that news and not cry was understandable. I had already cried those tears. I had been crying those tears randomly for months.
But hearing that my Grandpa died, out of the blue, in his sleep; it just kind of hits you, like running into a pole. You don't see it coming (obviously), it shocks you and hurts for a couple minutes, but then you don't really feel the reality of the pain until the next day.


My Grandpa was such a nice guy. He was so funny. I didn't get to see him too often because he lived in Florida, but it's the fact that I'll never see him again that makes me miss him so much right now. The fact that I didn't know the last time I saw him might actually be the last time I ever saw him.


Today has just been a day of thinking about Papa and all the fun things I remember about him.
I'll never forget the first time I went golfing with him, Dad, & Aunt Ma. They taught me everything I know about golfing, from which club I should use to how close I can get a golf cart to the green. He was so serious about his golfing. The whole family is. I got to thinking about this when I read my dad's facebook status about Papa's last day. He said:
Dad's last day on earth: 18 holes of golf, a nap, dinner at Cracker Barrel, watch the Yankees, go to bed. A perfect day in his world!

It made me laugh because it's so true. And then I thought about how many times we've eaten early bird dinners at Cracker Barrel. And his amazing cheesecake. And I read some things my cousins wrote on facebook that reminded me of how Papa always said he wanted his first tattoo to be two propellors on his butt cheeks. haha.
I just love how the memories make me laugh. That's a good thing. I like celebrating the life we enjoyed over crying for the death we suffer.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

RIP




Rest in Peace?
---------------------
RIP is the typical way to address a death in writing. And it seems like such a nice thing to say.
"Rest in Peace." Like the person who just passed is resting.

And in most cases I use it. RIP. I think with every person, or animal who has died in my life, I've said RIP.
But I just can't say, RIP Nana.

Nana has been resting in peace for long enough, don't you think?
As far as peacefulness goes, rarely have I ever seen her not peaceful.

I mean, maybe that one time when I threw a fit because I wanted a Strom
boli, and it stressed Mimi out and made her cry. Nana really got on to me.
But even at 1am when Nana would walk into the living room and catch me and Brian still awake watching tv, she was very peaceful.
Even when she lost at yahtzee, even when she needed help to get out of a chair, and had trouble opening Christmas presents, and even when she had to move in to a nursing home with a roommate who chewed tobacco and kept the room 80 degrees. She was always at peace.

And she has been stuck in that bed resting for months now. Stuck with the walker and cain for years. I think she's had enough rest.

It just feels.. not right. I don't want Nana to rest anymore. It might sound strange or retarded but I smile when I think about Nana in heaven, with her sisters and her husband! With a new body, and wings! Not only can she get out of bed she can fly! (honestly idk if the Bible says we'll fly, but don't it sound good?) And while her heart is still at peace, I just picture her so incredibly happy.
So RIP, Nana? nah. RIP's for the birds. Heaven's for you!
Nana playing school with Eva.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Spiders & Roaches & Flies, oh my!

I just found out my laptop can reach my bed while charging!
Hahahaha ohh yeah baby. This Butter’s gonna blog at all hours of the night!
-------------------------

So, the other night I was in my room with the door shut, studying, when I heard a shriek in the living room. My roommate hollered out my name in that, there’s-a-cockroach-come-kill-it voice. Knowing how fast these little critters are, I grabbed the closest shoe I could find and ran out to save her.

Feet apart, knees bent, eyes focused, and shoe up, I searched that room up and down looking for the doomed bug. I looked over at Anne, as she comfortably sat with her feet on the couch and her laptop on her lap. A bit confused, I said, “Where’d it go?” She just looked at me. She ignored my question, and continued with what her shriek was about.

Apparently one of her friends is pregnant.

Note to self: Anne’s there’s-a-cockroach-come-kill-it shriek and my-best-friend-is-pregnant shriek are VERY similar.

We just recently moved into our apartment (2 months ago, to be exact.) My roommate and I were so excited to be getting our own place. And not just any place, this complex had everything you could imagine! It was our dream.

Unfortunately, it was literally, just a dream.

As most apartment complexes probably do, they had us fooled. I’m pretty sure when they took the picture of the community pool, they vacuumed it. Probably the only time they ever vacuumed it.

In the lease, I remember signing for a washer & dryer, the HD TV, the dishwasher, the community gym, tanning bed, swimming pool & game room with a pool table, ping-pong table, and two x-boxes. Oh yes. I remember, because it sounded so great.

But there are so many other things, that I don’t remember seeing in the lease. Like the dirt in the pool, lazy maintenance men, an air conditioner you can’t turn off, floors that stain your feet black no matter how many times you mop them, spiders, flies, and my personal favorite, the cock roaches.

I mean, I could tell you so many stories that involve Anne’s there’s-a-cockroach-come-kill-it shriek and actually end in me killing a cockroach. I could tell you even more stories that involve the cockroach getting away. When I cut my lights off at night, I literally jump into bed and just picture these roaches coming out and partying all night while I'm asleep.

I know you would love to hear the gory details, the horrid screams and the hilarious accidents that have happened during a cockroach slaughter, but this would be the longest blog everr!

I’m not gonna go into a rant about the sad living arrangement of a college kid who is too inexperienced to know when she’s being hustled… I’m not gonna lecture large businesses who take advantage of the newbies in the world.

All I’m going to ask is if anyone out there knows how get rid of these cockroaches??!

Monday, October 11, 2010

How Do You Know When It's Time to Move On?

I feel like i'm too young to be worrying about the stuff I am.
I should be focusing on my hair, and my tan & having fun.


I'm 19. It's still my year to be 19 & crazy like I always planned. I feel like I've changed so much since I moved to college. I haven't really changed, it's just with everything else changing I don't know what to do with myself. I mean you spend your whole life (18 years) making friends and getting yourself situated where you are, and for what? You move away and leave it all behind.
And yeah it's good memories, but that's all it is - memories.
And you've planned on moving away your entire life. You're gonna make it big and live the good life. Be a college kid; no parents, tons of friends, and a city. (aka, not a small town)
But then you get to this new place and you feel how hard it is to change and to move on, and suddenly your plan gets fuzzy. Suddenly you don't know what you want anymore. All you've ever wanted was the absolute best.

You're taking a chance by moving on and hoping for better things. Staying in the past seems like the safe bet, but is it? I mean, it could be settling. You don't know. Nobody knows. You just go, you pick your faith up and you go holding on to the hope and love as best you can.

So there you are, you've decided you're going to take the chance. You've decided it's not even a chance anymore, it's a definite plan. No matter what, you are going to make things better.

Do you know what that takes? Do you realize how hard that is?
It takes money, endurance, acting, and focus.

Everything cost money. The apartment you live in, the food you eat, the meter you park at, the gas to fuel your vehicle, the places you go.

So you work. Giving you less time for fun, less time to study, more stress, and paying you barely any money.

That my friend takes endurance: to show up to work even when you hate it, to go home and study all night even though you're tired as crap, to go out with friends when all you want to do is lay in the bed and hide.


You may think it's silly, but making friends is a huge part of life! And if you don't set aside time for that, if you don't make yourself do that, you are not going to make it in life.

You have to be a good actor to make friends. You have to be able to pretend to be happy, to pretend to want to be there, pretend to know them, pretend you don't miss your friends back home. 
And with all that going on, you have to keep focus. You have to focus on your budget, focus on your job, focus on your new friends, focus on your old friends, focus on keeping your house clean, focus on your school work, focus in class.
All the while, you have to be perfect. You have to have it all together. Because nobody likes a complainer. Nobody like an insecure person. Nobody likes a loner. Nobody like a mean girl. And while you need to act like you don't care what others think of you, you do, in fact, need to care about what others think of you.
I guess my biggest thing right now is this: I've invest 6 years of my life into the friends I have now.
It took me 6 years to get to where I am with them. It's a relationship you build on and work at for years! And it's not easy learning the ins and outs of others, learning what makes them angry, what makes them laugh, how to tell when they're lying.. I mean it's something I enjoyed, definitely, but by no means do I want to just let it slip away. I can't just throw away all that time and energy and love. And I definitely can't just re-create it with other people. I just feel like nobody amounts to the people I already have in my life. Nobody is as good for me, or cares about me as much as them. I've already got the best, do I really want to move on with the possibility of losing all that?

Sure moving on might mean getting a lot of better things in my life, but it might mean losing the best things.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

STDW cont.


As I sit in the library awaiting my next class, I can't seem to keep my thoughts away from Starbucks. I know. It's a bit ridiculous. Starbucks has become so regular in my week. I really am becoming my mother.
I mean, 2 weeks ago if you offered me a coffee, I would have said HECK no!
2 months ago, if you offered to take me to Starbucks, I would have said HECK no!
2 years ago, if you brought coffee anywhere near me, I would have got the heck away from you.

So anyway, I'm trying to avoid yet another coffee break I cannot afford. And in this sad attempt to do so, I'm going to tell you about number 3 on my list, The Russell House.

Don't go to the Russell House between 11:30 and 12:30 if you are a) in a hurry or b) hungry. That is everybody's lunch break. You will stand in line for 40 minutes just to get your food. Even at the fast food places. And especially on Chicken Finger Wednesday.
(though on this day it is actually worth it.)

Also in the Russell House, you will see somebody you know. It doesn't matter what time of the day you go, somebody you know will be there. Even if you only know 10 of the 40,889 people on campus, one of the 10 you know will be there.

Last year I lived right across the street from the Russell House, so anytime I was hungry I would just head over, get my food to-go, and go back in my room, cozy up in my bed, eat and watch my favorite show. It was my alone time. My chill time. I loved it.
But there were plenty of times when I would head into the Russell House, planning this special occasion, my hopes so high, my heart so full of joy, and be disrupted by the company of another.
haha nooo I'm kidding I love the company of others!
...really. I do.
It's just that when I have my heart set on something, especially something as important as my alone time, I get very annoyed when my plans are changed.
Not to mention the countless times I went to the Russell House in my pajamas, with messed up hair, in need of a shower.
So anyway, that is just another thing about USC's Campus that I had to learn the hard way.

And now, I still have time to go to Starbucks..


Wednesday, October 6, 2010

STDW cont.

2. The bricks. Today I was making my way through campus when I saw a girl coming my way trip up. I noticed that nobody laughed, nobody looked; nobody seemed to care. Even she just kept walking as if nothing happened. She must not have been a freshman.

Later, I saw another girl trip up. Once again, nobody laughed, nobody looked; nobody seemed to care.. except her. She let out a brief gasp, and dirty word, and a long laugh as she looked around to see who all saw. She looked kind of confused, and embarrassed when she saw that everyone ignored her.

To the general public, it would have appeared as though she just wasn't paying attention, or was clumsy.. And my first semester here, I would have laughed at her. But not this year; this year I know the truth - that these bricks are out to get us.

Buddy you can walk down these brick sidewalks 20 times a day, you could memorize every brick that's missing or every brick that's sticking up, and you will still trip. Like for reals, people don't even laugh at people for tripping up anymore. It's that common. So here at USC, don't get embarrassed for almost busting your face. Don't laugh. Don't cuss. Don't even bother stopping and looking around to see if anyone saw it. Because chances are, everyone saw it, and nobody cares. They're probably thinking, "Dang that poor girl, those bricks get everybody." or "Wow I'm glad it wasn't me today." So just continue on your way. There is absolutely nothing you can do about it.

Monday, October 4, 2010

Some Things Deserve a Warning.

As a sophomore at USC this year, I find myself noticing things around campus that I wish I was aware of my first year here.
Life can be tough your first semester here. At least it was for me, because I didn't know anybody, I didn't know anything about the University, and heck, I came from the smallest little one red-light town and knew nothing about the city. And I think if someone would have just warned me of a few things I didn't expect, my transition would have been a lot easier.

So every day for a week I'm going to try to notice something different while on campus that I wish I had been warned about when I first got here.
  1. The Squirrels. Today as I was walking down the sidewalk, about to cross the street, I noticed a squirrel sitting on the cross-walk pole, eye level. As I got closer, most people would expect this squirrel to climb up the pole, or jump down and run away. Even I would have expected this, my first semester here. But not this year. This time, I honestly didn't know what to expect, all I knew was to be afraid. As I got closer, the squirrel stayed eye level on the pole. He would jerk on way or the other, circling the pole. Freaking me out. I got to be probably a foot from the pole, I could have reached my hand out to touch the squirrel, and I completely and utterly feared my life. Because this year I know the truth, and that when dealing with USC squirrels, expect the unexpected.

    The squirrels here, are crazy. Most squirrels will run away from you, but not here. No ma'am. These squirrels like to test you. They like to see how close they can't get before you freak out. They like to follow you on your daily walks to class, and stalk you and cut in front of you as you're walking so that you trip up. They like to get up in your face while you eat and try to steal your food. I mean, the campus is scary enough as it is your first year here! The last thing you need are these crazy squirrels running around! All I can say, and all I wish someone told me, is just be prepared to be scared. And don't even bother taking ammo, because these squirrels aren't afraid. They're like Eminem. They take a stand. You can hit them with the most solid thing near you and they will not budge.

    THEY ARE NUTS.

    I remember last year walking to class, and having a squirrel follow me on the brick wall to my right. He would frolic a few steps ahead of me, turn like he was going to jump out in front of me, and then continue along the ledge as I continued to walk. At the time, it was so creepy. But now looking back, it was kind of like a dog that would run ahead and wait for you to catch up; but a squirrel.. ha, no, still creepy.

    I also remember a squirrel one time coming up to me and my friends while having lunch outside. He was maybe 2 feet from our table, and he just stood there staring at us. ..UNCOMFORTABLE.. My friend had a little plastic cup she threw at him in hopes he would run away. Did he? no. He just STOOD there and completely freaked us out!

    So if you come to campus, be on the look out for these little guys. No, you don't even have to be on the look out, they will make themselves known to you. Just be prepared. You know, take your Plavix before hand, and maybe bring some Seredyn.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Life's tough for a girl.. with a 3 syllable name.

That's right. I'll admit it. LIFE'S TOUGH.
I mean, I know I seem like the kinda girl who's got it all together; the kinda girl who never complains; the kinda girl... well you know, the perfect kinda girl.
I know, I put on a good show.

Because in all reality, life is tough for a girl like me; with a name longer than 2 syllables.
I mean, names are important you know.
Names are written on all of your awards. Names are announced over intercoms. Names are pretty much the first thing that come up in conversation.
They are the foundation of getting to know someone. If you don't know someone's name, can you really say that you know them?
No. You can't.

Now think how hard it must be for someone with the name, Marjorie, to get to know people.
It is next to impossible. I meet someone in class,
"Hi, I'm Corey."
"I'm Marjorie, nice to meet you."
"Wait, what?"
"Marjorie."
"Margarine?"
"No, Marjorie."
"Oh.. well can I just call you Margarine?"
oh, what the heck, you can call me Butter.
I mean seriously. I pretty much have to go through this every time I meet someone.

I say pretty much, because sometimes there's the person who just doesn't care enough to figure out what I said.

"I'm Corey."
"I'm Marjorie, nice to meet you."

Then I kind of get a weird look, and they just avoid calling me by my name until we eventually never talk to each other again. Or there's also this one:
"I'm Corey."

"I'm Marjorie, nice to meet you."
We talk, get to know each other and later, they try to say my name.
"Hey Margare--err--Margarin--uhh, sorry, what'd you say your name is?"

I feel like that in itself is enough to make someone, like me, avoid getting to know people.

And then there are the cases with awards, where your name is always spelt wrong.
"Margory" "Margorie" "Marjory" "Majory"
...Like, come on people! You're making me want to not even succeed anymore!!

And if you're a complete idiot like me, you misspell your own name on something big, like your University E-mail registration. So my professors get e-mails from "Marjroie."
And it's not Marjorie who signs the attendance sheet, it's Marjroie.
Marjorie doesn't even exist anymore.

I don't even bother.